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December Newsletter



It’s Not You, It’s Them.

If you’re anything like me, you are committed to personal responsibility. You are self-aware. You spend time reflecting on your behaviors, actions, and decisions. You always think about how to improve, level up, or be an overall better human being. And you might also be like me (I’m taking a lot of liberties here, I know.) if your continuous drive for excellence sometimes leaves you feeling like you’re in constant competition to be your best self. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes it’s not you; it’s them.

Despite outstanding work performance and excellent peer reviews, your boss never invests in your professional development. It’s not you; it’s them.

Despite routine invitations to neutral locations and a run of drama-free incidences, your boyfriend refuses to meet your parents or friends. It’s not you; it’s him.

Despite years of planning and building a killer business plan, and offers to help with start-up costs, your friend can’t commit to starting a business together. It’s not you; it’s them.

Self-awareness should not distract you from appropriately reacting to others’ actions. Sometimes the problem is beyond your control and no amount of self-actualization exercises will drive you to take the job with better opportunities, to leave the man who can’t commit, or to switch game plans from co-ownership to going out on your own. Don’t blame yourself for the people who left or didn’t support you. When people see that you’re about to walk into your purpose, you might get this reaction. Keep walking and know that it’s not you, it’s them.

Word to @styledbykemi who inspired this post.


Fresh Flowers




It’s bitter cold outside, the snow is piled up everywhere, and I rush into the house to take refuge and bask in the warmth of a thermostat set at 72 degrees. (Yes, I know this bill is going to be sky high.) As I unlock the door, I’m met with warm smells of a vanilla candle and fresh, fall flowers. No special occasion and no apologies but every week, I buy myself fresh flowers. Tulips, roses, chrysanthemums - no matter the type, I love walking in from frigid, frosty winter nights to something bright and alive. I mean, I could find a boyfriend during these cold winter months, which might serve the same purpose, but flowers don’t talk back. Save a man, buy yourself some flowers.


In My ears

Sooo… I previewed a lot of music in preparation for this month’s newsletter and, well, in the spirit of “if you don’t have anything nice to say...” this month’s segment is just a list. Instead of forcing it, I’m just telling you these have been in my listen and be the judge. I’ll just be here, listening to The Preacher's Wife soundtrack and praying that 2019 will bring me music I can fall in love with.


Mariah carey - caution


(I love “Tints” tho)








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