It’s Not You, It’s Them.
If you’re anything like me, you are committed to personal responsibility. You are self-aware. You spend time reflecting on your behaviors, actions, and decisions. You always think about how to improve, level up, or be an overall better human being. And you might also be like me (I’m taking a lot of liberties here, I know.) if your continuous drive for excellence sometimes leaves you feeling like you’re in constant competition to be your best self. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes it’s not you; it’s them.
Despite outstanding work performance and excellent peer reviews, your boss never invests in your professional development. It’s not you; it’s them.
Despite routine invitations to neutral locations and a run of drama-free incidences, your boyfriend refuses to meet your parents or friends. It’s not you; it’s him.
Despite years of planning and building a killer business plan, and offers to help with start-up costs, your friend can’t commit to starting a business together. It’s not you; it’s them.
Self-awareness should not distract you from appropriately reacting to others’ actions. Sometimes the problem is beyond your control and no amount of self-actualization exercises will drive you to take the job with better opportunities, to leave the man who can’t commit, or to switch game plans from co-ownership to going out on your own. Don’t blame yourself for the people who left or didn’t support you. When people see that you’re about to walk into your purpose, you might get this reaction. Keep walking and know that it’s not you, it’s them.
Word to @styledbykemi who inspired this post.