I remember the first time I went to therapy. I was a sophomore in college, struggling with imposter syndrome, and feeling a lack of connection with family that I’d left back home. I was confused, frustrated, and anxious. And although I didn’t know what therapy was, I knew that it was something I got for “free” as a student, and I was trying to take advantage of every resource that the university offered. So I called the counseling center, booked the appointment, and went in.

My training at a rape and sexual abuse center lead me to commit much of my work to survivors of trauma. My passion comes from the fact that society puts much of the burden on women to protect themselves from assault (don’t drink, don’t wear revealing clothes, and don’t walk by yourself at night) rather than to train men not to take things they don’t have permission for. I know that men are victims of sexual assault. The focus of this post is the majority of sexual assaults that occur, when women are attacked by men.

In our first podcast episode of April, “Good Form,” we focused on the power and importance of talking more about sex. Not only because there are sexual innuendos all around us, every day, but because having conversations about sex has many benefits such as reducing stigma, normalizing the female perspectives on pleasure, and learning more about how sex and intimacy connect us all.

There has been a lot of intriguing dialogue about self-care lately, which has left me disillusioned by some messages about the true meaning of taking care of yourself. In the era of “treat yo’ self,” we often equate self-care with lavish trips, expensive spa packages, and fancy dinners.  When the reality is, self-care is more nuanced and, simultaneously, more simple than that.